he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
