Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize