I showed him my bush... on skype.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
