i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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