I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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