One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
