i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
