Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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