one two three fourrrrnication!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
