3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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