he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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