I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
