mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
two words...techno handjob
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
