Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize