there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The air taste purple.
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