shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
