i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
