Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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