she was so not down for the gang bang
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize