remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
