you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
