he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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