try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
