Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
