i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Randomize
