i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize