I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
