Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
