Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
