By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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