Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There r osticjed everywhere
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
