Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
where does the pee come out of this thing
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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