The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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