hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
