forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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