yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
