The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
