Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
