Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
