idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
