I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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