Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
