making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
