Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
