I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
