cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize