I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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