normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
