i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
