pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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