i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
