He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
