Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
