Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Houston, we have a blender
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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