Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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