Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
