At least make sure they are 18
Why
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
