If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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