I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
