when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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