U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize