I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
