God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
