Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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