you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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