Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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