don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
