I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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