Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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