I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
