dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
