Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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