He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
