So drunk its hurt
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
