Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
