So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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