i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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